Single Christmas

I've recently began dating again after a breakup in August. I dated a guy for three and a half years and he thought I was just okay, so I finally got all my strength together and ended things. I've been nursing this breakup for the past four months and now I'm sitting on my best friend's couch, and we're doing our single Christmas together.

As I perused through facebook today, I saw a post by Brené Brown. She writes:

This has become my annual holiday post. I share it because I need the reminder that we are not alone in the mess.

Every year as I think about my own life and reflect upon what my family and what many of the people around me are going through this Christmas, it’s clear that struggle doesn’t take off for the holidays.

The gremlins don’t go on vacation. Checks bounce, chemotherapy appointments are scheduled, interventions are planned, relationships keep unraveling, being alone feels even lonelier, parents negotiate who will have the kids on Christmas morning, and the “never enoughs” are in full swing.

As I prepare to spend the next few days with my family and friends I come back to this: I will find my holiday magic in the mess. I will practice love and gratitude with the special group of folks who keep showing up and loving me, not despite my vulnerabilities, but because of them.

I'm grateful for our community. For your generosity and the respectful way we move forward together! Blessings, Brené

And you know, it's so true....being alone feels even lonelier, and even as I sit here with my bff, who shares the same circumstances as me, we both do still feel alone. But, like Brené, we have to find the magic in the mess. So what that we're sitting here, by ourselves, watching Friends and we are 35 and there's no kids running around? We do our best to stay Zen, reminding ourselves that we have awesome homes, great friendships and jobs, and lots of family who love us no matter what our personal lives hold.

We're planning to make 2016  great, and I'll be sharing it all here with you - the dates, the relationship conundrums that peculate in my mind, the trying to get over the ex and the life I thought was right in front of me. Just one short year from now, who knows where I'll be?