Facebook Depression

You know what's more awesome than seeing posts about people getting engaged and people being pregnant?  Getting my teeth drilled, having hot coals thrown at me and stepping in poo with bare feet.

Is it bad that every time someone posts a beautiful picture of their ring finger with a caption like, "Well, this just happened," or something even more romantic like, "She said yes!" I want to comment and say, "Who fucking cares."

Or, "Do you have any spare razors where that ring came from?"  I mean, honestly, what's more depressing for a single person than seeing everyone else's lives moving forward?  No-thing...I split it apart so you would emphasize NO THING.  

PS.  When I finally get engaged, I better get at least 205 comments from everybody being so, out of control, happy for me.  I better get much more than the "Likes" that I can barely muster up when someone posts it now.  

What?  You ask, Why do you get to be a bitch and then expect great things in return?  Because.  Because.  I've been happy enough for all you assholes for too long.  I'm done.
Next baby or engagement post, I'm sending the middle finger emoji.

Signed, 

Not Zen...as if you had to ask