Complementary

My friend and I love to write. Our fave things to write about are posts that we usually don't publish because, most likely, we will piss someone off. We also really like to write about dating, but then we get our family and friends telling us we are bitches and we need to be more open to the guys we are going on dates with, and that maybe, we're single because we're mean. (We're not - the dating world sucks!) So....we created this blog so we have a free place share our stories with like-minded women (and men?), swamped in a dating world that dgaf about us.

As we were brainstorming this blog on a recent Skype conversation, we came up with some of the following ideas for names: 

Singles Insanity

Love the Single Ladies

Not your average single girl

Choose Carefully

Patiently Single

Painfully Single

The Modern Single

Scary Single

Dating these Days

Zen Single

Luckily we landed where we did, and then after Not Zen wrote her first post, we were immediately thinking of the Yin-Yang. You know, they're opposites:

Wikipedia defines them as complimentary though. I like to see it that way better. Not Zen's tell-it-like-it-is style is funny and so engaging. Then there's me, who thinks all the same things as her, but it comes out a little more tame. So, I know you'll be laughing your ass off at her, and then you'll get a little optimism from me, and hopefully the balance makes you return for a visit.

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How to Wake up

Zen... that is not fucking me. I'm the other half of this blog.... the friend, the non-Zen one. Ya know why? Being single BLOWS. This morning I Facetimed my family and started balling on Facetime. I acted like it was just because I missed them, and yeah they're ok but I don't really miss them. I just damn saw them at Thanksgiving. I was crying because they have a family and people around and I woke up by myself in bed. Here's how I'd like to wake up pre-children...wake up and fuck. Yes, that's right. I love me some morning sex and guess what I didn't have this morning? Sex. Post kids, I'm totally cool with being woken up by being pounced on by children but for right now...I'm REAL OVER WAKING UP ALONE.

My friend is so positive and she's gonna find a wonderful man who will cherish her and love everything about her.

Me, right now I just need to get laid. Good sex, bad sex, I don't even fucking care. Ha! Fucking care-pun intended.

Single Christmas

I've recently began dating again after a breakup in August. I dated a guy for three and a half years and he thought I was just okay, so I finally got all my strength together and ended things. I've been nursing this breakup for the past four months and now I'm sitting on my best friend's couch, and we're doing our single Christmas together.

As I perused through facebook today, I saw a post by Brené Brown. She writes:

This has become my annual holiday post. I share it because I need the reminder that we are not alone in the mess.

Every year as I think about my own life and reflect upon what my family and what many of the people around me are going through this Christmas, it’s clear that struggle doesn’t take off for the holidays.

The gremlins don’t go on vacation. Checks bounce, chemotherapy appointments are scheduled, interventions are planned, relationships keep unraveling, being alone feels even lonelier, parents negotiate who will have the kids on Christmas morning, and the “never enoughs” are in full swing.

As I prepare to spend the next few days with my family and friends I come back to this: I will find my holiday magic in the mess. I will practice love and gratitude with the special group of folks who keep showing up and loving me, not despite my vulnerabilities, but because of them.

I'm grateful for our community. For your generosity and the respectful way we move forward together! Blessings, Brené

And you know, it's so true....being alone feels even lonelier, and even as I sit here with my bff, who shares the same circumstances as me, we both do still feel alone. But, like Brené, we have to find the magic in the mess. So what that we're sitting here, by ourselves, watching Friends and we are 35 and there's no kids running around? We do our best to stay Zen, reminding ourselves that we have awesome homes, great friendships and jobs, and lots of family who love us no matter what our personal lives hold.

We're planning to make 2016  great, and I'll be sharing it all here with you - the dates, the relationship conundrums that peculate in my mind, the trying to get over the ex and the life I thought was right in front of me. Just one short year from now, who knows where I'll be?